Virginia Woolf’s novel “To the Lighthouse”, which is a study of Freud, exemplifies his views on love. “[T]here are few things more boring, puerile and inhuman than [love] – yet, it’s also beautiful and essential. Then, what then? She asked expecting them to continue their argument. As if they were throwing their own little lightning bolt, which obviously fell short. They would then carry on the discussion. So she listened carefully to their arguments in case any of them shed light on love.” (Lily’s Thoughts Into the Lighthouse, page 103)
In Civilization and its Uncontents Freud talks of the importance of love to civilization. Virginia Woolf relates Freud’s idea of love in her book, Civilization and its Discontents, by using James Ramsay’s character Lily Briscoe. In “Civilization and its Disorders”, Sigmund categorized two types of love: “Parental and Sexual love”. Love is described by Freud as a means of happiness that humans use to try and escape their daily struggles. The complex nature of love is influenced by many factors. Freud writes, “I’m not sure I’ve made a full list of all the ways men attempt to find happiness and endure suffering…I am, obviously, talking about the way of living which puts love at its center…It is that we can never be so defenseless in the face of suffering…or the love that comes with it” (Freud 51-22). Freud is saying that love is something that occurs in every human being. Love is one of the most powerful forces that can unite people, keeping civilization intact and promoting progress. Freud begins the book by saying, “It’s impossible to ignore the impression people have of using false standards. They look for power, wealth and success in themselves, while admiring them in other people, and underestimate what is truly valuable in life”. (Freud 23). Freud explains that people are naturally narcissistic, creating an inflated sense of self. He says, “But Love Is The Only Factor That Subdues Compulsions And Ego’s Of Humans”. The high egos that humans possess can be subdued by love. The statement in “To the Lighthouse”, which is contrary to the meaning of love, is that it is actually driven by the egos of people as shown through the characters James & Lily. James Ramsay is Freud’s “Parental Love” and “Sexual Love” for his selfish definition. James Ramsay has a unique concept of love as can be seen in the book. His relationship with his mother, Mrs.Ramsay shows the Oedipus complex. Woolf sexualizes their relationship, even though it is paternal. James’ intention in the beginning is obvious: he wishes to visit the lighthouse. James’ feelings for his mother and father are polarized after his father comments about the bad weather. James states that “Had had an ax at hand would kill his father by gassing a hole in the breast”(Woolf, 8). His father is so hated by him that he thinks of killing him over an insignificant comment made about the weather. His relationship with his mom, however, is clearly fonder. He says his mother was “ten thousand-fold better than him (James’ thought)” (Wolf 8,). Freud also believed that sexual love was a form of love. James felt his mother’s rise as he stood stiffly between her legs. He saw the leaves of a fruit tree adorned with rosy flowers ….the arid Scimitar that belonged to his father. This egotistical person ….demanding compassion” (Wolf 41-42). This scene shows James and his mother’s relationship is similar to Mr. Ramsay’s towards Mrs. Ramsay. In essence, Mrs. Ramsay accepts the patriarchal roles that women were expected to play at the time. She is like an obedient mother, who submits herself to Mr.Ramsay. You could say that Mr. Ramsay owns Ms. Ramsay. James Ramsays Oedipus Complex reinforces the patriarchal nature of Mrs. Ramsay and her family. James’s love definition is so selfish that he kills his father to maintain his mother’s patriarchal position in the Ramsay family. Lily, who is also a character from Freud’s love definition, is also a great example. Lily does not conform to the patriarchal norms of that time, as Mrs. Ramsay did. Lily’s artistic abilities and efforts to paint are emphasized throughout the book. Lily’s efforts to paint her picture are meant to be a rejection of patriarchal stereotypes of women who cannot draw or write. The painting is more than just a protest against patriarchal stereotypes. Lily’s artwork represents her feelings towards Mr. Ramsay. Lily is not willing to reveal her love to anyone else. She is afraid someone will look at her painting and see how vulnerable she has become. “As if interruptions would destroy the fragile form she was constructing on the desk, she turned to the window so that Mr. Ramsay wouldn’t see her ….be somewhere alone”(Woolf 151). Lily’s thoughts when she is painting are only those of Mr. Ramsay. When she is painting, Lily feels uncomfortable because of her fear that Ramsay might be watching. The scene is a true representation of her feelings towards Mr.Ramsay. Lily fears criticism for her work if it is shared with others. She is also insecure about telling him what she has done. Painting is more of an escape from reality. Lily Ramsay’s love, like Lily Ramsay’s, is selfish. James Ramsay can’t be with Mrs. Ramsay, and Lily is unable to have Mr. Ramsay. Both are motivated by jealousy. Virginia Woolf’s interpretation of Love differs from Freud because she shows that it is selfishly driven by humans, through James Ramsay & Lily Briscoe. James Ramsay is selfish because he wants his mother to be all for himself. Lily Briscoe creates art to express her selfishness and hopes no one will be able access it.